Forgiveness
by icebloomoondoggy
Summary: Takes place after Welcome Wagon but no major spoilers Mac reevaluates some things in her life.


**Forgiveness**

Mac sits on her bed staring at her ceiling.

Her last therapy session had not gone well. She told Martha, her shrink, about how upset she was when Dick came over and harassed her. Martha had sat there with her cute glasses and bob and had merely said, "Forgive him."

Mac rolled her eyes. "Forgive him? Why should I forgive Dick?"

Martha sighed and took off her glasses, absentmindedly rubbing them, something therapists did in the movies a lot. Mac leaned back in her chair.

"I didn't mean Dick, although it would be nice for you to forgive him too," Martha replied. "I meant Cassidy."

"Right, I've heard this before," Mac sighed.

"No, I mean it," Martha said, replacing her glasses and leaning forward. "You seriously need to add 'forgive' into your vocabulary."

"Since when?" Mac asked, hostile now. "I am full of forgiveness!"

"Not true. You've written off Cassidy's mass murder and rape of your best friend, saying it was because he was abused as a child. But have you forgiven him for killing himself? Have you forgiven Veronica for not stopping him?"

Mac looked down, ashamed.

Martha glanced at her watch. "Listen, why don't we cut this one short?" She stood up and Mac followed her. "I won't charge you for this session, but we should meet next week." Mac nodded, thankful, and they walked towards the door, where Martha stopped and turned to her. "And think about what I said. I mean, really, really think about it."

"I'll try," replied Mac quietly.

So now Mac is lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She has some music playing, a mix Cassidy burned for her for the Sadie Hawkins dance and she is thinking about forgiveness like Martha told her too. She is thinking about how Martha is telling the truth. She is thinking she needs to send Veronica flowers or something.

She is thinking all this when she hears three sharp knocks on the door.

She slowly gets up and drags herself over to the door after turning off her CD player ("And if you feel discouraged/Cause there's a la…"). She looks at herself in the mirror.

She's pale. Her hair's in a messy ponytail and her eyes are red, red, red from the crying she's been doing a half an hour since she got home. She sighs and figures it won't matter because there's no one left who cares about her looks. Then she realizes that she should think positively and smiles at herself. Now she looks better. She opens the door.

Dick Casablancas is standing there. Mac's smile is immediately wiped off her face.

"Hi," Dick says quietly.

"Hi," Mac replies.

She's taken aback by his appearance. He's not drunk like the last time she saw him, indeed, Dick's probably the most sober she's ever seen him. He's a little bruised and he has a nasty looking cut above his lips. But it's his face that gets to her. This is not the face of the Dick Casablancas she knew in Neptune. His face is thinner but somehow softer in a way she can't place.

She realizes that she has been staring at his face for the past twenty seconds and neither of them has said anything.

She starts speaking. "Parker's not in right now she…"

"I'm not…" Dick interrupts her, stops, and starts again, softer and slower this time, as if he has to think to find the words. "I'm not here to see Parker."

"Oh," Mac says. "Wait, what?"

"I'm not here to see Parker," Dick replies. "I just needed to see you."

"Okay," Mac says.

"Are you going to invite me in?"

"No."

"Okay," Dick kind of laughs sadly. "I guess I'll do it out here then." He looks around and starts talking fast, like he can't get the words out fast enough. "I'm sorry for what I said. It wasn't me. That wasn't me. It was some horrible monster. And I thought I was cool for saying it. I really did. It was like I was back in Neptune and I was an ohniner and you were Mac the tech girl who's dating my little brother and taking him away from me and making him all nice and considerate. And I thought I was cool then too! And I'm not. I'm not cool, Mac. I'm not and I'm sorry. And I was drunk, and that shouldn't make up for it, but you and me have been going through the same stuff. And now I know that it wasn't you who was taking him away from me. It wasn't you. And before any of us could do anything, he was gone from all of us. I just wanted to say I was sorry. I really am. And that's all."

Mac is looking at him.

"Okay. Okay," Dick keeps saying "okay" like it's the only word he knows. "Okay. Are we okay? Okay. Okay, bye. Goodbye Mac. I am sorry." He steps backwards a couple of times and walks down the hallway, turns a corner, and is out of Mac's sight.

Suddenly Mac finds herself outside of her room, running down the hallway as fast as she can which is not very fast because she was never good in athletics and there he is.

And suddenly she's yelling "Dick!" He hears her and stops. And she slows down.

And then she kisses him. It's light, like a parent kissing their child. But she has to stand up to do it and she's supporting herself against his chest with her hand and she's never felt so light than for that second or two when she's kissing Dick Casablancas and OH MY GOD SHE'S KISSING DICK CASABLANCAS!

As quick as it began, it's done. Dick's looking at her like she's insane, and she feels insane. But she likes it. So she grins, and she knows she must look insane, but she grins and she says, "Thank you. I forgive you."

Dick looks confused for a moment more, but then he breaks out into a smile. He throws his head back and laughs and it is one of the best sounds Mac's ever heard. "Okay, Mac," he says once he's done. "I'll see you around, okay?" And like that, he's gone.

Mac goes back to studying her ceiling. She thinks it's his eyes that have changed.


End file.
